Crying's good for you?

I'm crying now and I can't explain why to anyone. I so badly want to express it to everyone but I can't. My eyes are all blurry and so's the keyboard (if I make mistakes that's why). My tea's beside me and I can't eat it. I feel sick.. I'm so damn angry. I want to talk to someone, but I can't. Not like last time. I don't want to move away from her but at the same time I want too. I can't deal with her anymore.. If I got a knife and stabbed myself she wouldn't care. I might as well do it.. I know she wants me too.